Roommates
- The right to read and study free from undue interference in one's room. Unreasonable noise and other distractions inhibit the exercise of this right.
- The right to sleep without undue disturbance from noise, guests of roommate, etc.
- The right to expect that a roommate will respect one's personal belongings.
- The right to a clean environment in which to live.
- The right to free access to one's room and facilities without pressure from a roommate.
- The right to personal privacy.
- The right to host guests with the expectation that guests are to respect the rights of the host's roommate and other hall residents.
- The right to redress grievances. Residence hall staff are available for assistance in settling conflicts.
- The right to be free from fear of intimidation, physical and/or emotional harm.
- The right to expect reasonable cooperation in the use of the telephone.
One of the most memorable facets of residence hall life is the opportunity to share your experience with someone going through the same things you are: your roommate!
Living with a roommate is an opportunity to build a lifelong relationship, to have someone to engage in debate and in laughter, or to share late-night conversations and early-morning cereal. Hopefully, this relationship will be positive and rewarding, but it can also be challenging. While most roommates get along very well, it is natural to have some issues arise during the course of a year.
To help you and your roommate address issues before they become an impediment to your
residential experience, you will receive the Roommate Agreement when you arrive this fall.
This agreement will provide tools to help you build open communication and a positive relationship.
With a little work, your relationship with your roommate will be one of the best parts of your
life in the residence halls!
It is not necessary for your roommate to be your best friend, but it is necessary that you respect one another. It is essential that lines of communication be developed and remain open with your roommate. Being assertive means standing up for your own rights without violating the rights of others.
Often times it helps to talk about other types of experiences that a person has had before talking about what expectations each roommate has of the other. After opening up the lines of communication, it makes it easier to tell the other person what they want to see happen in the room. Remember, the more effort you make to spend quality time with your roommate in these discussions, the easier it will be to mediate conflict if it arises during the year.
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One of the first steps in building an effective roommate relationship is to talk about expectations for both yourself and your roommate. This will help you avoid potential problems and conflicts.
- Discuss religious beliefs and personal values that might impact your expectations.
- Discuss ways to resolve conflicts when they happen.
- Establish roommate expectations, such as:
- Housekeeping duties - decide how you will divide duties such as taking out the trash, cleaning the room, etc.
- Phone use - figure out where you will leave phone messages, how late people can call so it doesn't wake the other person, phone sharing, and any other issues related to phone use.
- Ideal sleeping and studying conditions - talk about when lights should be turned out, when it is o.k. to make noise, etc.
- Guests - discuss having guests over during sleeping, studying hours, etc., and whether overnight guests or
guests of the opposite gender are okay. One of the most common areas of roommate conflict involves the hosting of overnight guests. To reduce the inherent
possibility of this type of conflict, visits by overnight guests are limited to six per term and require prior written
approval from your roommate for each visit.
- Sharing - talk about how comfortable each person is sharing their belongings and when one needs to ask permission.
- Other issues - discuss any other issues that seem important or that might need to be clarified.
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Based on research about roommates the following areas are generally the ones that can make or break a good roommate experience;
these deal primarily with "pet peeves." A pet peeve is an act or habit which bothers another person, such as singing with
headphones or tapping your fingers on your desk when you get nervous.
A conflict exists when two parties perceive that they have mutually exclusive goals - that is, the satisfaction of one goal
is incompatible with the satisfaction of the other. Conflict can be positive when all participants are satisfied with
some part of the outcome. It is not positive if the participants leave with hostile attitudes or mistrust and defensiveness
toward one another.
A constructive conflict situation is characterized by:
- Constructive spirit and friendly attitude
- Trust
- Open and honest communication
- A non-threatening atmosphere
- Some degree of satisfaction and resolution for all parties.
A destructive conflict is characterized by:
- Distrust
- Defensiveness
- Hostility
- Lack of communication
- Competitiveness.
- First, attempt to discuss the matter among yourselves and come to a mutually agreeable solution.
- Failing this, ask your RA to serve as a mediator in your discussion so that a solution can be reached.
- If a solution is not reached, the RA will bring the grievance to the Complex Director.
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